Scenes from a Deconstructionist Lecture

EXCERPT - PART I

Student

So, according to deconstructionists, I don’t have to take notes on what you are saying, since you actually aren’t saying anything at all.

Instructor

Correct. In fact, you couldn’t take notes if you wanted to. Your notes wouldn’t exist. Of course, I also can’t pass you, since you never handed in an essay.

Student

I couldn’t hand in an essay.

Instructor

That’s true.

Student

And actually, I can’t actually fail, since the letter F doesn’t exist.

Instructor

Exactly.

Student

Now all I have to do is convince my mom to become a deconstructionist.

EXCERPT, PART II (The Next Day)

Instructor

So here’s a deconstructionist chicken joke. The first deconstructionist asks, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” And the second deconstructionist replies, “What chicken?” And the first deconstructionist says, “Exactly. Cappuccino?”

Student 1

I’ve got a problem with that.

Instructor

How so?

Student 1

Well, does the second guy get the joke or not? I mean, is he asking “what chicken” because he really doesn’t know, or is he correctly answering the first guy’s question? See, the first guy says “cappuccino,” but I don’t know if the second guy is standing there bewildered, and the first guy says “cappuccino” just to confuse him more. Or if the second guy gets the joke, and they’re both laughing about it and they’re going to go drink cappuccino together. See, it would be better to end the joke with the first guy saying “exactly,” like he does, only instead the second guy says “cappuccino.” Or better yet, have the first guy ask the question, and then the second guy say, “What chicken? Cappuccino?” Then the joke would make more sense.

Student 2 (To Student 1)

Um, seriously, I think you just deconstructed his deconstructionist chicken joke.